**Trigger Warning – Baby Loss** Losing a baby was by far the most isolating time of my life for me. I had wonderful supportive people around me but when you are in the depths of grief you can’t believe that anyone can even begin to understand how you are feeling. Life was whizzing on around me and my whole world felt it had stopped with my 3 year old boy at home, one twin in Neonatal and of course her sister who had been born asleep not with me anymore. My head was a mess, I was a mess and… View Post

**Trigger Warning – Baby Loss** Apparently I was talking in my sleep the other night. I was telling someone that Heidi was mine and not to take her away. I remember that dream vividly, mainly because I have it at least once a week. There is someone taking her out of my arms and walking away with her. I can’t get off the bed and she is gone. The most painful part of that dream is that she is alive. Sitting on the sofa at night with a big bar of chocolate crying my eyes out. Going through Heidi’s memory… View Post

For this years summer holiday we decided to go for familiarity. We had visited the Parkdean site Ruda in Croyde, Devon twice last year and completely fell in love with the area. We did look at other options of places to go but we couldn’t resist going back this year. As a family we are big fans of UK caravan holidays. They aren’t for everyone but for us they are perfect. Little Man especially loves staying in a caravan and as a family we love Devon and Cornwall. We have visited quite a few Parkdean holiday parks now and they… View Post

I have written before about how body confidence is something I don’t have a lot of. In that post I explain how I often feel guilty for not having that confidence because there is so much out there on social media telling me how I should be proud of my Mum bod. Don’t get me wrong I am proud of what it has done and that it grew my 3 babies but I do have a very unhealthy relationship with my body. I don’t like what I see when I look in the mirror; when I put weight on it… View Post

Dear Heidi, I have just written your sisters 2nd birthday letter and now it’s time for yours. As I sat down to write this the familiar physical ache appeared in my chest. I think it’s my heart hurting, my heart letting me know that there is a piece of it missing. I still don’t have the words to describe how it feels to have lost you. How after getting used to having twins and being frightened of it but then having it ripped away from you can be the most debilitating feeling. How grief can be felt physically and how… View Post