Break-up Letter

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We need to talk. This relationship thing we have going on, it’s not really working for me. I want to break up.

It’s not me, it’s you.

You’re a control freak, you completely took over my life, you took from me the first year of being a Mum. You affected me like nothing ever has – that’s not a compliment by the way. You were always there niggling away at me; I need space.

You came into my life just after my little boy had been born, you made me scared to be a Mum and doubt my ability to do a good job. Because of you I blamed myself, you made me think I was failing. I couldn’t even leave the house without you tagging along. Even when I was out with my friends you were there, telling me to go home, holding me back.

Well stick this in your pipe and smoke it – you don’t get to do that anymore. I’m taking back the control.

You’ll always be there, I know that. Like a ghost, a memory of what used to be but I refuse to have you pulling my strings anymore. Everytime I can’t walk out of that door and the memory of your mind games rears its ugly head I’m going to imagine looking at you dead in the face and tell you I can. I will show you I can, I will show you how I can. I’ll let you be there in the background if it means that much to you but anything you say will just wash over me.

I’m strong now, I can fight you. I might have bad days with your words appearing in my mind but the next day you will be gone. I promise you that.

Anxiety, you can stay where you are, but I’m moving on.

Rach

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26 Comments

  1. February 27, 2015 / 10:37 am

    Oh hun, I love this. I feel like I want to high five you. You are fabulous, and so is this post! Anxiety is horrible and selfish and has robbed me of so many things. I’m so sorry u have also had it invade your life too. But good on u for putting it in it’s place! Xxxxx

    • February 27, 2015 / 11:05 am

      *high five* Thank you so much for such a lovely comment. I’m not having the best of days with it so seemed a good time to tell it to shove off!!!! xxxx

  2. February 27, 2015 / 1:05 pm

    Such a good break up letter! Anxiety is such a horrid horrid feeling and we ALL get it. Just remember that 🙂

  3. February 27, 2015 / 1:53 pm

    You go girl…..!
    Thank you for sharing this with us it was a moving post, I don’t think I would of been as brave in your situation, so well done you. xx

    • February 27, 2015 / 5:46 pm

      Thank you. It’s amazing how brave you can be if you need to be I guess. Thank you for commenting. xx

  4. February 27, 2015 / 1:55 pm

    Love this, so important not to let that niggling voice we all have and anxiety beat us. Thanks for linking up to #brilliantblogposts xx

  5. February 28, 2015 / 5:35 pm

    Fabulous, well done huni! Onwards and upwards. Much love xxx

  6. February 28, 2015 / 7:59 pm

    Good for you! Anxiety sneaks in at the worst times doesn’t it! But taking charge, knowing what you want, that you don’t want to lose any more bits…Priceless!!! Standing behind you cheering you on!

    • July 14, 2015 / 10:02 am

      Thank you so much. It is on its way to becoming more manageable! x

  7. July 14, 2015 / 10:06 am

    Go you!!! This is such a great, kick ass post, I hope you will read it back on days you don’t feel so strong. Good luck with the break up! #TwinklyTuesday
    Morna recently posted…Disneyland on a shoestringMy Profile

    • July 19, 2015 / 9:30 pm

      Thanks lovely! It is a great one to look back on when I am feeling a bit wobbly xx

  8. July 14, 2015 / 1:11 pm

    What a great break up letter! I personally know the controlling nature of anxiety and this is a great way to keep moving forward, even when it seems impossible.

    Stopping over from #TwinklyTuesday… so glad I did!

    Marissa

    • July 19, 2015 / 9:28 pm

      Aw hope it goes away soon, it’s such a tough one to get rid of xxx

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