No Two Mums are the Little Mane

**Slight Rant Alert**

I read an article once asking me what sort of Mum I was, there were all sorts of examples like:

  • Stay at home mum
  • Working mum
  • Part time working mum
  • Home schooling mum
  • Model mum
  • Gym mum
  • Lazy mum.

The list was endless. Well Mr Journalist Man you certainly succeeded in how to offend every mum on the entire planet at once. I sat there scrutinizing all the categories, I was a new mum at the time and desperately scanned through the writing to find which one I fitted into. There were, of course great attributes and equally media exaggerated terrible ones of both. In my idealistic (and Mr Journalist Man influenced) new mum head I wanted to have the time with my child that the stay at home mums had, the independence of the working mum. I wanted to be the juggler that a part time working mum was and the patience of a home schooling mum. I of course wanted to be the model mum; the one everyone wanted to be.  I definitely wanted to have the body of the gym mum but I wanted to have the pyjama days of the lazy mum. The more I read this the more I realised that for every positive there was also a negative in each of the categories. Every one of these types of mums were giving something brilliant to the world of parenthood but also giving up something too. Bottom line – you can’t have it all.

No, actually the bottom line is we don’t fall into any one of these categories. Whether we go to the gym or not or even if we work or not, it doesn’t determine the type of mum we are and it definitely doesn’t determine how good a parent we are. Every single family has different situations and of course has different personalities within their families. My goodness, we would have a boring world if this wasn’t the case. I realised I didn’t want to be called a ‘something something’ Mum. I just wanted to be a Mum.

JustaMum

There is so much judgement out there about the type of parents we are. It’s easy to look at friends with children and think to yourself that you wouldn’t do it like them but then hey presto bundle of joy comes along and you’re doing it just as they were. I want to be Little Mans mum. Stick that in your pipe and smoke it Mr Journalist Man. I don’t want to fit into a category, I don’t want to  sit within a group that then confines me to the sort of mum I want to become. In fact, I don’t even know what that is because with every day comes a new challenge as a parent and until you’re there you don’t have a clue what decision you will make. I just want to be the mum who is happy and has a happy child. That most certainly wasn’t on the list. Don’t confine yourself to a type and more importantly don’t try and change to fit into a category.

We are one group and that is Mums. It’s as simple as that.

Rant over. As you were.

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4 Comments

  1. March 27, 2015 / 10:26 am

    I really enjoyed this post! I loved the honesty and the message! I always feel as though I’m being judged when somebody asks about me and what it is I do, the worst is when somebody asks “do you work?” And the second I reply “no, I have two little ones!” The look on their faces says it all. It’s very disheartening to feel as though your being judged by the way we choose to be a mum so this has really helped to show that I’m doing it right however I choose!

    • March 27, 2015 / 11:18 am

      That’s not fair. Just because you aren’t at work doesn’t mean you’ve made the wrong decision for your family and just because another mum works doesn’t mean they are failing their kids. Grr so frustrating. We are always mums wherever we are and however we choose to do it. Thanks for commenting 🙂

  2. March 27, 2015 / 12:25 pm

    I feel all militant after reading that. I totally agree – yes I’m a mum who goes to work but that is not what defines me as a mother! I’m feeling irrational rage at the poor journalist now!!

    Oh and Becki I feel like you but the opposite – I say what I do and then have to follow up really quickly with ‘but I still spend lots of time with my kids’ while feeling like a bad neglectful parent.
    Morna recently posted…My child is an animal!My Profile

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