Lets be honest, some people bail on you. Whether it be because of a mental illness such as my post-natal anxiety or for other reasons. We’ve all had it happen to us at some point and it’s OK that people bail; sometimes they just don’t know what to say or do. My parents didn’t bail on me, my husband didn’t bail on me but that’s the way it should be, right?! Those are different sorts of relationships than the ones we have with our friends.
Two of my friends stuck with me; they didn’t just hang about, they chose to stick with me and they chose to see me through it. Something that happened today which was probably just a tiny conversation to them showed me that they’ve got my back. What more could I ask for? I felt what I was saying was really silly but unfortunately it was a little bit of anxiety left over from last year. They didn’t let it faze them and sort of said ‘so lets carry on, it doesn’t matter’. They have held my hand when I’ve been crying in my car about driving through a flood. They have been on the other end of a text message at stupid o’ clock on a Monday morning (when my husband has gone away for the week) and told me that it will be all right, that I can do it and that I’m a good mom. They’ve been there. When you are going through something that feels so isolating and you feel so on your own it’s so nice to know that there are people there to talk to.
Maybe they didn’t get it. Maybe they didn’t understand why I couldn’t walk through the door to go out with them. But, they were okay with it. They’ve just taken it as something that’s happened to Rach and that’s okay. I don’t really know what the point of this post is in particular other than to say if you get a friend like that then hold onto them because they’re rare, but also be that friend. Be the friend who wants to be there and help out. Know that if your friend has cancelled on you 3 or 4 times it’s not because they want to, it’s not because they are trying to be a really annoying friend, it’s because there was literally no other option for them at the time. Its not just about me thanking those friends who have done that but its about saying to everyone: If you’re that friend to someone, I high five you! If you want to be there for someone but you’re not sure how, take a leaf out of my friends book and just hold their hand or give them a cuddle.
The conversation that we had today was probably not memorable to them at all, there was no need for it to be, but to me it really meant a lot. They were basically saying that it’s not an issue that my anxiety might flare up in that situation but we’re going to do it anyway. I’m going to go with them and they’re going to hold my hand. I suppose I want to say thank you publicly to the people who will know what I’m babbling on about and hopefully remember the conversation we had today. Also, go and be that friend. I hope I am to mine. Sometimes it does take a bit more effort to be that friend but I would do the same for them.