Comparing Ourselves to Social Media

I did an interviewΒ last week with the charity PANDAS (Pre & Postnatal Depression Advice & Support), they asked me a question based around social media affecting me or other mums with postnatal depression or anxiety. This really got me thinking. I didn’t really find that social media had any negative effect on my anxiety, however I can really see why they asked the question.

When you take a photograph of your children with the intention of putting it on Twitter, Facebook or Instagram you don’t put the blurry or the miserable faced ones on. You put the happy, smiley, ‘we’re the perfect family’ type of photo. Why wouldn’t you?! Nobody wants to see miserable children, screaming babies or mums tearing their hair out.

Or maybe we do.

As a parent it can sometimes be hard not to look at other peoples photos, and think why aren’t we like that? It can be easy to think why is that mum perfectly made up when I only had time to stick a bit of mascara on…badly. When you look at the photo of someone’s baby sleeping angelically or their toddler playing happily and then look at your own baby crying or your toddler kicking and screaming on the floor, its hard not feel jealous.

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Lets look at the reality though.

The picture of the perfectly made up mum – she probably only managed to do it at 3pm in the afternoon after the baby finally gave in to sleep. The sleeping baby – more than likely slept for 5 minutes. Oh, and the toddler – probably kicked off not long after the photo was taken. I’m not saying that it’s wrong for us to put these photos up, I do it all the time but they must only ever be taken with a pinch of salt. They are a snapshot of someones day. I mean, we all love being parents but lets be honest, sometimes its hard and sometimes that one nice photo to share with the world and people telling us how perfect our child is gets us through the day.

One of my favourite blogs is brummymummyof2 and she runs a linky called Wicked Wednesday, it is designed for people to share their less than perfect photos. I have to admit, I feel a lot better when I see that its not just my day that has been less than perfect.

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So back to the question that I was asked. Yes, I think social media can have a negative effect on mums but on the other hand I love seeing all the cute pictures that fill up my feeds. You can’t beat a kids smile to brighten up your day. Lets just remember not to compare ourselves with others and just take them for what they are; a beautiful snap shot of someone’s day.

Have a lovely day.

 

Everything Mummy

 

A Cornish Mum

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24 Comments

  1. April 10, 2015 / 3:55 pm

    Good post! You’ve hit the nail on the head by pointing out that the majority of us with an ounce of common sense know that there is no such thing as perfect. There are a few posts about at the moment that seem to berate other parents for putting ‘nice’ pictures of their kids up…don’t the majority of people put ‘nice’ photos up!? I know there are some over the top, ‘look at me and my perfect family’ types out there, but in comparison to us average joes, they’re not that prevalent.

    People these days are to quick to judge others and pull people to bits, we should stop worrying what everyone else is up to and enjoy our own lives. Social media does make some people too preoccupied with others lives.
    Yeah the Wicked Wednesdays pics are an ace idea and evens it all out! πŸ˜€ We have a few ‘photo shoot’ ideas for when baby arrives that are a little…different shall we say, heee!

    P.S. Good work with your interview with PANDAS, its great that you can help others through your own experiences, that’s what really makes a difference for people! πŸ˜‰
    Mother Mands recently posted…Goodbye Sexy, Hello Mum!My Profile

    • April 10, 2015 / 6:54 pm

      Thanks for a fab comment lovely. You’re spot on – we don’t need to keep such a close eye on everyone else’s lives!! Glad you liked the interview, it’s nice to get something positive out of not a very nice year. Looking forward to seeing those pictures πŸ˜‰ xx

  2. April 10, 2015 / 9:09 pm

    Ah thanks for the inclusion. I love the pretty and the staged but I am all about the real and showing the prefect imperfections of life xxx
    brummymummyof2 recently posted…When the Forest met the FarmMy Profile

  3. April 12, 2015 / 8:47 pm

    Oh yes, I’ve quite a few ‘Wicked Wednesday’ photos here too and you’re right that we only put the happy pictures up. It’s difficult to remember that lots of these piccies are staged sometimes, isn’t it? Found you via Sunday Stars x

    • April 13, 2015 / 8:34 am

      Definitely. I love a happy picture but have to remind myself not to compare my own day with it x

  4. April 13, 2015 / 10:08 am

    So true! We all want to share those beutiful photos of beautiful memories but part of the fun is showing the less than perfect photos. My instagram is littered with midnight selfies when the toddler is refusing to sleep, faces convered in chocolate and even the odd tantrum thrown in for good measure! #SundayStars
    Toni @ Gym Bunny Mummy recently posted…Happy Days #4My Profile

  5. April 15, 2015 / 3:28 pm

    This is post every parent I know could relate to. I love photographs – yes the smiley, happy ones but also the caught-in-the-moment ones that aren’t staged or perfect. ok these pics may capture the odd tantrum or whingy face but heck when I look back at them they still make me chuckle πŸ™‚ x
    mylifeafterlogan recently posted…Holy bump batman!My Profile

    • April 15, 2015 / 7:30 pm

      Exactly! The photos that aren’t staged can often be funnier when you look back on them!! xx

  6. April 19, 2015 / 3:44 pm

    so easy to compare yourself to everyone else isn’t it I know i do it when i see my timeline filled up with people having great days out or up to really fun activities and we aren’t up to much I feel really bad, i try not to let it bother me but when your having a crappy day its tough not to isn’t it! thanks for linking up to sunday stars
    everything mummy recently posted…My Week In Pictures #13My Profile

    • April 20, 2015 / 9:05 am

      That’s how I feel sometimes when we have had a day of not doing much. Thanks for hosting x

  7. May 24, 2015 / 12:11 pm

    This is a great post. It is so important that people remember this. It isn’t even just social media either – people have a tendency to do it in general, I think. Like how everyone tells everybody they know about how they have got their child sleeping through the night, but far less people mention the next day when it turned out to be a fluke & they were back to square one!

    Social media is even worse as it is a wider audience & people are much less likely to have any evidence to challenge whatever perfect reality you are putting forward!

    As you say, it just needs to be taken with a pinch of salt. Everyone needs to remember not to let themselves get dragged into believing having children is a competition. That is not healthy for anyone.

    I think it also pays to bear in mind that the most secure people need the least reassurance & validation from others. So those people you see pushing their perfect family lives the hardest, just may secretly be the ones who feel the least confident about how good things really are.
    Silly Mummy recently posted…Throw and CatchMy Profile

    • May 24, 2015 / 7:42 pm

      Great comment and fab points! You’re right, it happens in ‘real life’ too! xx

  8. May 25, 2015 / 8:38 am

    Grest post! This is so true and very well written. I am guilty of the lovely pictures of my well behaved children, but in all honesty that is 20% of our day as they scream, shout and tantrum the rest of the time. I too love brummymummyof2’s wicked Wednesday’s as its pictures of true everyday life. Xx
    Something Crunchy Mummy recently posted…My Sunday Photo 24/05/2015My Profile

    • May 26, 2015 / 10:24 am

      Thanks lovely. So true what you have said. I’m not sure it is even 20% of ours πŸ˜‰ xx

  9. July 31, 2015 / 9:55 am

    This is why I also love BrummyMummy’s Wicked Wednesday as you get to see that not everyone is perfect just like us!I often think to myself,I’m going to get dressed up and do a nice selfie and then think “nah,sod that” and end up doing one in all my knackered glory lol!Really interesting post x #picnmix
    Pickinguptoys recently posted…Good and bad stuff about the holidays so far!My Profile

  10. August 1, 2015 / 6:45 am

    This is so true! and I am guilty of only ever putting the good photos on my feed! Apart from once when I put a picture of our living room on it was spotless but in the 10 minutes it took me to have a shower (how dare I) it had become a complete mess! serves me right for disappearing…. Lol! but it has been one of my most popular photos – πŸ™‚ great post thank you #picknmix
    Mudpie Fridays recently posted…Stream Fishing in Surrey – Abinger HammerMy Profile

    • August 1, 2015 / 9:05 pm

      Yep, see people love that stuff really πŸ˜‰ Thank you xx

  11. August 1, 2015 / 2:45 pm

    I think over the next few years we’re going to be given more support about how to navigate our lives with the advent of social media. I know that’s probably taking the issue a bit too far – we all have common sense and know that nobody’s life is perfect, but still I think constantly being bombarded with perfect images and our desire to want to keep up isn’t healthy. Even if we can cope with it – I worry about the children who’ve never known any different. Great post. Just found wicked wednesdays too. Love it! #picknmix
    Jen @ 4,128 mies recently posted…CARLISLE BAY ANTIGUA – FIRST IMPRESSIONSMy Profile

  12. August 1, 2015 / 4:40 pm

    Very true there is no such thing as perfect, and what ever people show online is rarely the whole truth of their lives! Most people don’t live a ‘pinterest with an instagram filter’ life πŸ˜‰

    Thanks for linking up to #PicknMix

    Stevie xx
    A Cornish Mum recently posted…My Monthly Bucket List – August 2015My Profile

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