Giving Myself a Talking To

Friday wasn’t a very good day. I had an anxiety attack in the middle of Thursday night.

I don’t remember the last time I had one of them.

As a result of it I didn’t feel very well on Friday morning and couldn’t go into work. G was home so was able to do nursery runs as usual for the morning and take on Little Man duties for the rest of the day. So I spent the majority of the day in bed feeling poorly and sorry for myself. As I have said in previous posts I almost feel anxiety symptoms more because they don’t happen very often now compared to when I was living with post-natal anxiety after having Little Man.

I am a worrier by nature and one thing I have been left with after the last couple of years is extreme worrying when something like Friday happens.

I worry about letting people down.

I worry about leaving people in the lurch at work.

I worry about spending a day in bed poorly and sinking back into anxiety.

I worry about G getting annoyed that I am at home on his only working from home day (he never does!).

I worry if G will know what to with Little Man.

I worry that Little Man will be ill or need me when I am feeling rough.

I worry. A lot.

However, the one thing I have learnt from my recovery is all of this doesn’t help and more than likely the worrying is not needed.

Anxiety

So I have dusted myself off and by writing this given myself a good talking to. I am still feeling a bit wobbly about the blips I have had recently but there is a lot going on at the moment and I am happy to put it down to that. I like to have a reason.

An anxiety attack wasn’t something I planned or could control (especially while I was asleep) so the physical after effects aren’t either. Blaming ourselves in situations like this get us nowhere. Fact. But it is the one thing I find tough. I think I am getting better at it though. Bad days happen to us all, anxiety sufferers or not and that’s something I need to fully learn to accept.

This is a rambling post I know, meant for nothing more but to help myself and my brain but I thought I would share it anyway. If you are feeling how I felt, remember it isn’t your fault and tomorrow is a new day. Try again then.

Have a lovely day, I’m off to try again.

 

 

Mami 2 Five
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4 Comments

  1. 18/04/2015 / 21:55

    Thanks you for writing about post natal anxiety. I hadn’t thought about it but it’s true that it feels very different now my anxiety is under some control. For many months feeling very anxious was my baseline.

  2. 18/04/2015 / 22:58

    Hey- after my last exam I ended up calling in sick to work for four days and spending them in bed. I just couldn’t cope with life. I was exhausted, my husband (previously a psychiatrist) was amazing. He told me I needed the time and that I shouldn’t feel guilty- he just let me spend the best part of four days in bed. What he said was just what I needed to hear. He told me it was ok to not be ok, that I needed some time and I should take it. So I stayed in bed for four days and after that I felt a bit better. Please don’t feel guilty about needing some time out. Maybe what happened was a warning that you needed a break. You shouldn’t feel guilty about not being superwoman. Everybody needs a break sometimes. Next time you have a day in bed try to enjoy it! Xx
    Morna recently posted…5 ways to repair my mojoMy Profile

    • 19/04/2015 / 08:33

      Aw thank you so much hun. Just what I needed to read. Hope the exams went well x

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