Welcome to The Literal Toddler & Other Stories/Dramas. It is no secret that I think toddlers are awesome, I am loving this stage with Little Man. He is funny, cute, loving and, well, downright confusing. Okay, so I’ll admit; they’re not always awesome. Sometimes Little Man grinds my gears and sometimes I haven’t got a clue what he wants to hear. However, when you look back after the toddler related drama; sometimes it’s rather funny. Here are a few things that have happened lately which have made me giggle – inside you understand, I giggled inside for most of them while my face held a stern mummy pose.
The Literal Toddler – In today’s world a lot of what we say doesn’t mean what we literally say. For example, when we say ‘I have a frog in my throat’ there tends not to be an actual frog in our throat – that would be strange. Or when we tell our kids that we have eyes in the back of our head. Toddlers however take everything literally, they can only understand what we are saying without any hidden meanings. A few days ago I asked Little Man if he was thirsty, he straight faced replied to me with – ‘No I’m Little Man’. Brilliant. My mother in law told him that he was a monkey, he once again calmly replied – ‘I’m not a monkey, I’m a little boy’. It’s little things like this that make me think toddlers are awesome.
The Dramatic Toddler – I could write pages as my Little Man could win an Oscar some days. Only the other night I sat down to quickly Google something on Gs laptop. Little Man in his tired after nursery state, burst into tears and shouted that it wasn’t my laptop, it was Daddys and to turn it off. I suppose when he goes to touch it I always say ‘no that’s Daddy’s’ so he thought I was breaking the rules. The amount of crying that followed this was insane.
The No Eating Toddler – We don’t have a fussy eater, we have a stubborn eater. If nursery give my toddler any type of food he will munch it happily with his friends. If I put the exact same dinner down in front of him at home, he tells me he doesn’t like it before even trying it. I will then ask him if I should take it away and I get told crossly no but I can gurantee he will not touch a single morsel of that food. It makes no sense!!! Ice cream, however – not a problem.
The Unreasonable Toddler – I could write a million pages for this too. Why are toddlers so unreasonable? Well yes, I know it’s because they don’t understand reason yet but wow it’s frustrating. Trying to explain to a toddler why he can’t go and stand under Mummy’s car in the garage while it’s tyres are being changed is challenging. It is unsafe. End of. Oh no but our toddlers are brave hero’s ready to head into danger without a second thought, inspired by Mike the Knight and Tree Fu Tom who can get themselves out of any sort of sticky situation with a quick rhyme and maybe a dance routine, so why on earth would a car falling on my sons head be a problem?!
The Loveable Toddler – Now Little Man is older, he asks for cuddles and kisses. He sits on my lap to read a story and says ‘I love you’. Somewhere in all that is a thank you for not letting a car drop on his head and making sure he eats a meal. It’s all worth it in the end.
The many phases of our toddlers. If nothing else, it’s funny when you look back. I think! I would love you to share yours with me.