I’m not really one for labels. For example, I hate the labels put on parents…stay at home, working, etc. However, when I finally had a name for what I had been going through a couple of years ago it comforted me. Being able to say to myself that I had post-natal anxiety made me feel better. I didn’t feel like I was going mad anymore; other people had been through it too, it had a name. When you have gone months with no name for something and frightened by what it was being given a name for it, a label really helped me.
It took a long time for me to realise what it was.
I have few anxiety attacks these days I am happy to say but anxiety is and probably always will be part of me now. I think in some way or another it always was, it just came to the forefront after I had Little Man. Something I have been thinking about recently, when I say post-natal anxiety out loud; can I still call it that. Little Man is 3 years and 2 months now. He isn’t a baby. I wonder if I should stop calling it post-natal now and just call it anxiety. I know it doesn’t make a huge difference but I am an anxious person, a worrier. I worry that when I say I suffer from it that people look at my son and think that he isn’t a baby. I worry they wonder why I say post-natal.
What a silly worry. If you have ever suffered anxiety you will know that the even the silliest of worries can take up a large amount of your thinking time!
Will I still be saying it when Little Man is 21?
I don’t know. What I do know is that anxiety is part of me now and I’m totally okay with it because usually I can bat it away as quickly as it came.
I guess the post-natal part brings me comfort in one way. It was worth it. I have it because I had my boy. That makes it all worth it because I have Little Man and I would go through anxiety over and over again to have him.
What do you think?
If you want to read more about my journey with post-natal anxiety you can here.