If you read my blog regularly you will know that I am one of the one in four and one of my twins was born sleeping in July at 29 weeks gestation. I’m not a regular viewer of Coronation Street at all but when I saw that they were having a baby loss story line I couldn’t help but watch. Some would say I was mad, in fact some people did say I was mad. I can’t really explain why I watched it. I sat in my living room on my own and the box of tissues on the table was definitely my best friend that evening. Maybe it was cathartic. I don’t know. I think part of me wanted to see if they did that situation justice. Obviously the birth was a very different experience to mine but the after math was all too familiar. The feelings of guilt, loss, helplessness, how unfair it all was. I thought the actors did it huge amounts of justice.
What a hard thing to act out especially considering they had both been through horrific losses themselves. I read a lot of articles questioning why they did it, why they put themselves through it. But I totally understand. Since losing my baby all I have wanted to do is help others. I am still very much at the beginning of this grief journey but I have an overwhelming urge to help other parents. An urge to share my experience so no one has to feel alone with those awful feelings, And I would imagine that there was an element of that for the actors in Corrie too. A chance to break the silence and a chance to tackle such an important issue. When it was happening on screen you could see how personal that experience was to them; you could see the pain and it resonated with me. For a while I didn’t feel alone with my feelings. Yes they were acting it out, yes it didn’t really happen but watching it somehow made me feel like I wasn’t the only one. I, of course know I am not the only one but sometimes it can feel that way.
So, yes I was probably a bit mad to watch it but I’m glad I did. The media attention it has had has brought baby loss especially late miscarriages to the forefront and that is so important. I have dealt with so many people who have avoided me or not known what to say; maybe watching a story line will help the people around the parents too. It might help them to understand what goes on behind that hospital room door. Obviously I wouldn’t recommend to any baby loss parent to watch this unless you feel in the right head space to but for me it was the right thing to do. It made me cry bucket loads but I have come to realise I don’t often do that. I fill my day purposely so I don’t have to think about it and it was an outlet for my emotions. I think I needed that.