There Should Have Been Two


*Trigger Warning*

I have been trying to write a post for ages about the intricacies of losing a twin. I find it so hard to explain to people how it feels without feeling like I am doing one of my girls a disservice. If I focus on Little Angel I feel like I am coming across like I don’t appreciate that Little Lady is here safe and well. If I focus on Little Lady I feel like I am forgetting Little Angel. Because I have a had a new baby and a rocky start with her too I think I sometimes come across less affected by the last 7 months than I am. I love all of my children so much but I miss the one that isn’t here a lot too. We are incomplete. The only way I could get down what I wanted to say was in this poem.

There Should Have Been Two

 

There should have been two.

Please don’t tell me that at least I got one.

I feel blessed to have her but the other is gone.

 

There should have been two.

Please don’t forget her name

They were sisters but not the same.

 

There should have been two.

Please don’t assume my heart is not broken

My smile for you is sometimes just a token.

 

There should have been two,

Please don’t be scared to ask me about her

I like to remember it all as it were.

 

There should have been two.

Please understand they came as a pair

But one of them is not there.

So if I shed a tear for her please don’t fold

I love all three children exactly the same but remember, only two I can hold.

 

There should have been two.

 

 

 

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Hello!

I’m Rachel, a 30 something Mum to 6 year old Little Man & 2 year old twin girls (one with us & one in the sky).

I’m an anxiety sufferer, list writer and secret chocolate eater.

Join me going from anxious to organised.

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