It’s funny how grief hits you sometimes. Well, no its not funny, it’s rubbish but you get the jist. You think you’re having a good day with it all, a good week even and then bam! Something hits. For me it was a photo; it wasn’t a photo of my little angel though like you might think. It was a photo of Little Man & Little Lady and some other children too. There was a space, right next to my kids and it just looked empty. It looked like it wasn’t meant to be there and it wasn’t. There should be another little girl sat there with them. I took the photo; I didn’t notice the space when I took it but when I looked back it was all I could see.
Why am I telling you this? Well primarily because this blog is my diary, my ups and my downs and I needed to write but also because some of you are going through the same as me. Because when I noticed the space, it was all I could think about and to be honest I felt a bit silly. But grief isn’t silly and feelings aren’t silly. Any feeling is justified because you feel it.
When you plan to be a family of 5 but you become a family of 4 it’s hard to get your head around sometimes. There is space in my heart for my little angel and there is a space in that photo too. I guess there will always be a space in every photo now; not that anyone else sees but that I see. Our missing piece.