How the weather can affect anxiety may seem a bit of a random title for a blog post but stick with me. Some people are affected by the weather in really negative ways like SAD (Seasonal Affective Disorder) however this isn’t what I suffer from. I love warm cosy winter evenings, under a blanket listening to the rain outside. I actually quite like the winter months but they do affect my anxiety.
Little Man was born in October 2012 and the winter that followed that month was a harsh one. There was a lot of snow and I was a new Mum, the two didn’t go together very well. My anxiety started then. We had a whole week inside, my husband was away and the snow on our estate was so bad getting in or out was pretty much impossible. I didn’t want to take my brand new baby out into the freezing cold and I wasn’t confident enough to drive in it in case I got stuck with him in the car. I didn’t see anyone from the Monday morning, all the way through to the Thursday night. After that I started to worry about going out and things escalated from there.
Now I am happy and confident to take the kids out in the snow but unfortunately it didn’t stop there. Even though my anxiety is much more under control now I can still get anxious about getting anxious. Sound silly? Well it’s true. If I stay in the house for more than one day at a time I start to get worried that I won’t be able to go out. I have an obsession with getting us out and doing things even though sometimes there is just no need to go out. It is also easier for me to make an excuse as to why we shouldn’t go out if the weather is bad especially is I am feeling a bit anxious anyway.
The past two weeks for us have been the Easter holidays and I have had all sorts of plans. Then the rain came, lots and lots of rain. I’m all for getting the kids togged up and taking them out in the rain but there is only so many time Little Man wants to do it and only so many times I can take Little Lady kicking off her rain cover. So because of this we have naturally had more days in the house. The kids have been happy enough and we have found plenty to do but it is always in the back of my mind that I need to get out. The fear of at some point going to my front door and not being able to walk out of it again will always stay with me I think.
What I have proved to myself this holiday is that that doesn’t happen anymore and I’m okay. It’s okay to have a few days in.
We are supposed to be getting lovely weather next week and I for one, will be out in it but the next time it rains I won’t give myself such a hard time about putting a film on with the kids and bedding down for the day. My house used to be my haven and then it became the place I felt most trapped in. I want it to be my haven again.
If you suffer from anxiety and find the weather doesn’t help then you are not on your own.