Eight Ways To Be Excellent As A Mother
Mothers have super powers. It doesn’t matter who you ask – mothers are able to do the extraordinary every single day, and they do it under a lot of pressure. Mothers who are working have to balance two completely different lives every single day: one as a mother who cares for her children, and one as a worker who needs to do well in the office to succeed.
Mothers who balance the kids and the home? Well, they’re keeping their homes immaculate, while cooking nutritious foods from scratch and setting up the kids with cordless glue guns and crafts to keep them endlessly busy. She is great at giving the children unlimited love and attention while managing fighting in the ranks to keep everyone calm – and she does it while running a tight routine. The home of a mother runs on clockwork and her children are rarely late. She could probably run the government in her sleep – if she wanted to, of course. Do you know a mother like this? Are YOU a mother like this?
Now, let’s start again.
Mothers have super powers, but the best one that they have is the ability to mask the frantic paddling under the smooth surface of the water. They are able to manage anything, including when they find five minutes to have a quick cry in the bathroom. They can set everyone up with activities, but they do so to snatch a couple of minutes of peace with a now-cold cup of coffee, wondering why their clothes are stained and how that lump of goo landed on their sleeve.
Women who endeavour to be mothers don’t think about their own needs, whether it’s sleep, the need to eat or even to shower. Super mothers are super exhausted, but there’s never any time to consider that when there are so many things to do. Women are strong, capable, clever, resourceful – and yet it doesn’t feel that way sometimes. Especially when you consider the one thing that all mothers have in common: their own limits.
Every single mother has a limit to how much she can take on without crumbling. They say “yes” to everything and everyone most of the time, putting her own wishes on the backburner. It leads to a constant worry and panic that they’re not doing it right, that the children are going to suffer and that they’re going to do things wrong. There is no such thing as a superhero mother. But there is such a thing as being excellent as a mother. Below, we’ve put together eight ways that you can be excellent as a mother, too.
It’s an alien concept, of course, but you cannot pour from an empty cup. If you are not looking after yourself, you are not going to be an effective mother. The more you look around to see what other mothers are doing, and comparing yourself to them, the more you’re going to feel like a failure. Relax. Comparison is the thief of joy, so quit trying to outdo, outrun and out-beat other people. Get comfortable with the mother you are right now, not the Stepford Wife and mother you imagine that you’re supposed to be.
Remove The “And’s”
Mothers carry around a lot of “and’s” in their lives. They have to go to a AND b AND c, while managing d AND e AND f. That’s too many things to do and something has to give. The best thing that you can do is make a note of all of your current commitments and start eliminating those that you are forcing yourself to fit into. Think of it as a square peg and round hole – stop making things fit that just don’t work together.
Let It Go
Rather than an uplifting song by Elsa from Frozen, you need to take the best possible advice here – let it go. The things that you can’t fit shouldn’t be forced to fit, and you should stop stressing over trying. Let go of the idea that you must be the very best at everything, and you will be a much happier person for it.
Why are you putting so much pressure on yourself to be everything and do everything for everyone? Have you asked yourself whether you have the time to commit to new things that people ask of you or are you just saying yes to say yes? Look within yourself and ask whether you truly have the time and make that decision for YOU, not for anyone else.
Learn To Rest
Super mothers are only super if they are charged up and ready to go. Set apart time in your week to just be. Take a moment, read a book, have a nap, enjoy a meal by yourself. Learning to rest is vital for a mother to be successful.
It’s one of the challenges all mothers face: burn out. You have to be able to take pause and carve out some time among all the glue-gunning and glitter to renew your mind and body. You should be able to exercise and get out in the fresh air when you can. Intentionally avoiding burnout will help you and you to remain whole and stable for your family; renewal helps with this.
You need to have people, a support system that goes beyond your partner and children. You need friends who will give you their help when you call on them and you need to know that you have a village on which to rely. Mothers should never be an island, so give yourself some space to find that support system if you don’t already have one.
Every time things are getting too much, make that list again. Relist your commitments to others and stop piling up your plate with too many things. You’ll thank yourself in more ways than one.
This is a collaborative post