If you read my blog regularly you will know that I am one of the one in four and one of my twins was born sleeping in July at 29 weeks gestation. I’m not a regular viewer of Coronation Street at all but when I saw that they were having a baby loss story line I couldn’t help but watch. Some would say I was mad, in fact some people did say I was mad. I can’t really explain why I watched it. I sat in my living room on my own and the box of tissues on the table… View Post

*TRIGGER WARNING* Dear Little Angel, It’s Christmas time. At the end of this week myself, your Daddy, your big brother and your twin sister will be settling down in front of the Christmas tree opening presents. It’ll be a happy day; that’s really important to me this year. Your brother hasn’t had an easy year and I really want this to be a special Christmas for him. Please Little Angel, don’t think I have forgotten you though; my missing piece. I planned matching Christmas pudding outfits for you and your sister. A photo opportunity to bring out on your 18th… View Post

*TRIGGER WARNING* ‘We have found there was no reason for it’. For the 2nd time in that hospital time stood still. The consultant handed me a box of tissues. Tears were escaping. I couldn’t help it. No reason? It just happened? That did not make it okay. People telling me it happened for a reason made it somewhat okay. Three medical professionals sat in a cold office telling me otherwise didn’t make it okay. On Thursday we were invited back to the hospital to hear the hospitals findings from the investigation in regards to what happened to my twins. ‘It’ll… View Post

When you hear people throw the word ‘premature’ around when it comes to babies you don’t ever take huge amounts of notice. It’s just a baby that was born a bit early. Nothing unheard of about that really. Until you have one. Until you are in a bed on a postnatal ward after giving birth and your baby is down the corridor. You’re not drinking in those first few moments of your babies life; cooing over them and getting to know them. Instead quite often they are fighting for their lives, learning how to survive when they weren’t ready to… View Post