I remember the day we bought Little Lady home, it was just over a year ago and it was one of the scariest moments of my life. She was hooked up to a breathing monitor and she was tiny. We were armed with a huge bag of medication for her and I was armed with fear. Could I look after her as well as the nurses did? Was she ready for the big wide world after 9 weeks on the Neonatal ward? Of course she was; she had endured being on oxygen, numerous near death experiences, injections, possible infections, chronic…

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*Trigger Warning* It’s funny how grief hits you sometimes. Well, no its not funny, it’s rubbish but you get the jist. You think you’re having a good day with it all, a good week even and then bam! Something hits. For me it was a photo; it wasn’t a photo of my little angel though like you might think. It was a photo of Little Man & Little Lady and some other children too. There was a space, right next to my kids and it just looked empty. It looked like it wasn’t meant to be there and it wasn’t.…

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Welcome back to my Neonatal Life series. Little Lady spent 9 weeks in NICU (Neonatal Intensive Care Unit). I wanted to read about other Mum’s experiences; I wanted to know if how I was feeling about it all was normal so I thought it only right that I shared my experiences of it too. Little Lady was born one hour into my 29th week of pregnancy weighing just over 3lbs, you can read about why she was born early here. Our 9 week NICU journey was the hardest one of my life so far but believe me, it is more than worth it. Today’s…

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**Trigger Warning**   Dear Little Angel, I’ve been looking for the words for quite a while now. The words to explain how I have been feeling for the past year. I guess the only words I have are simple ones; I miss you. I have just written a first birthday letter to your sister, that should have been for you too. Today there should be double presents, a joint cake and matching first birthday outfits. But there isn’t and that’s so hard. We will of course enjoy the day. It is a celebration of how wonderful your sister has fought…

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Dear Little Lady, I can’t quite believe I’m writing this. I can’t believe that already you are one. When I look back over this year I’m not really sure how we got here but we did and I couldn’t be prouder of you. You didn’t have the easiest start to life. You came out before you were ready; you were tucked up in my belly with your sister. I often wonder if you miss her. I remember the moment you were born. Your sister came first and then it was your turn. I looked at Daddy and waited, waited to…

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