Dear Little Lady, I can’t quite believe I’m writing this. I can’t believe that already you are one. When I look back over this year I’m not really sure how we got here but we did and I couldn’t be prouder of you. You didn’t have the easiest start to life. You came out before you were ready; you were tucked up in my belly with your sister. I often wonder if you miss her. I remember the moment you were born. Your sister came first and then it was your turn. I looked at Daddy and waited, waited to… View Post

This is a thank you to the person that let me fully share and didn’t just stare. This is a thank you to the person that stood, by my side on the day that she died. This is a thank you to the person who stood by the incubator, cried with me and just let me be. This is a thank you to the person who understood I was torn and that 2 babies had been born. This a thank you to the person who visits with love and support, the kind that just can’t be taught. This is a thank you to… View Post

I’ve dusted off the laptop. I’ve dug it out from behind the sofa and stared at a blank page for a while. You see, I forgot how to do it. When everything happened it was all I wanted to do; pour my heart out onto the screen. My head was so full of feelings and they needed to escape so I wrote. What I have realised over the last couple of months that for the first 6 months after the twins were born I was in shock, a huge amount of shock. I wanted to shout it from the roof… View Post

Dear New Neonatal Mum, I saw you when you walked into the room that our daughters are in. You smiled and said hi, I congratulated you on your beautiful girl. You said how surprised you are that my teeny tiny girl was nearly 6 weeks old, we politely swapped stories. You looked frightened. I remember feeling like that. I don’t think you ever know what goes on behind those doors until you’re there. All those tiny babies, all those poorly babies and the parents who are as white as a sheet. The beeping…oh god the beeping. It drives you mad… View Post

Little Lady was in NICU for 9 weeks and in this post I want to talk about emotions and how the array of mostly negative emotions are normal to feel. I spent days sat by Little Lady’s incubator and chatted to lots of other parents and believe me we all felt these emotions at one point another. Here are 5 emotions that are totally natural to feel if your baby is in NICU. Fear – The first time I walked down the corridor to meet my baby girl in NICU was one of the most terrifying experiences. I had seen a… View Post