Anxiety a feeling of worry, nervousness, or unease about something with an uncertain outcome. That is the official definition of the word anxiety and I think it’s pretty spot on but it is also quite a weak definition when it comes to mental health. Feeling nervous and a bit uneasy is very different to the feeling of a full on anxiety attack. They happen differently for everyone but for me they start with me feeling like my legs are going numb, my breathing quickens and I suddenly feel very alone with my thoughts. I can be in a room full…

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The summer holidays are nearly over and it’s time to start thinking about getting the kids back to school. This year I can’t wait to see Little Man heading off into Year 1 as he enjoyed last year so much. However last year I was a worried mess, wondering how he was going to cope. Being a new school mum can be pretty daunting too; there is a lot to remember, think about and keep up with along with making sure that your little one is happy and enjoying school. There are a few things which I wish I had…

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Today is my 33rd birthday and although not a milestone birthday it has become a bit of a personal milestone this year. This time last year I was sat in my pyjamas all day, not because of my love of pj’s but because I didn’t want to face the day. It was my 32nd birthday and I could not have cared less. I was in the depths of anxiety, possible depression and most definitely grief. I had huge physical symptoms from my anxiety that day too. I couldn’t see straight because I was so dizzy from the hyperventilating. I had…

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**Trigger Warning – Baby Loss** Losing a baby was by far the most isolating time of my life for me. I had wonderful supportive people around me but when you are in the depths of grief you can’t believe that anyone can even begin to understand how you are feeling. Life was whizzing on around me and my whole world felt it had stopped with my 3 year old boy at home, one twin in Neonatal and of course her sister who had been born asleep not with me anymore. My head was a mess, I was a mess and…

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**Trigger Warning – Baby Loss** Apparently I was talking in my sleep the other night. I was telling someone that Heidi was mine and not to take her away. I remember that dream vividly, mainly because I have it at least once a week. There is someone taking her out of my arms and walking away with her. I can’t get off the bed and she is gone. The most painful part of that dream is that she is alive. Sitting on the sofa at night with a big bar of chocolate crying my eyes out. Going through Heidi’s memory…

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